I haven't been posting the past few days for a couple of reasons; the first being that yesterday was the memorial service for the Coast Guard crew that crashed last week. It was a beautiful service, very well done, and about 1,000 people were in attendance. They had photos, memorabilia, and slide presentations of all the men in addition to the speakers at the service. I started tearing up as soon as I set foot on base at the air station, as the reality of what happened really hit me for the first time. As I mentioned, Steve hasn't been on active duty for over a year because he's going to school, so I hadn't been to the air station or any CG activities for a long time. When I saw their helmets and their boots all lined up with beautiful wreaths behind them, I lost it, and was emotional for the length of the service. During the slide show, there were several photos of Josh with his new baby, and I think he's the one that made me cry the most.
In trying to analyze why I get so emotional at funerals, even when I don't personally know the person, I think it's because I'm grieving for the families left behind. I know that death is not the end, that they will eventually rise again and be resurrected, and families who are separated by death have the potential to be together forever (for more details on what I believe happens after death, click here). Still, I get very choked up when I think of how that little 3-month-old baby boy will not remember or personally know his Daddy in this life, and how Josh's wife is suddenly faced with raising their precious son by herself, as are the other mothers with young children left behind. It makes me cherish my own family more dearly, and reminds me that life is not a guarantee. It's a fragile thread, and this experience has made me focus a little more on appreciating the here-and-now, being grateful for the blessings I enjoy on a daily basis.
Anyway, it was great to see some old friends and acquaintances that I hadn't seen in a long time, and it provided a little bit of closure to this sad tragedy. I came home from the memorial exhausted, both physically and emotionally. I couldn't make myself do anything productive, so while Hazel took a long nap in the afternoon I just crashed on the sofa. I think that's my body's way of dealing with emotionally taxing events - I just sort-of shut down for awhile.
Today, I've been trying to do some deep house-cleaning, which isn't typically what I wake up thinking about on the weekend (or any day, for that matter!). Hyrum's birthday party is coming up (I can't believe he's going to be 4!!!) and I don't want to be stressed out the day before trying to do all the party stuff plus all the cleaning stuff, so I'm trying to spread it out a little bit.
Sometimes trying to get even simple things like vacuuming done is like one of those dreams where you're trying to get somewhere or run away from something, but your body is stuck in slow motion and you just...can't....seem...to....get....there.... Anybody out there who can relate to that? I hope it's not just me. :-)
In light of that, here's a funny little comic that conveys the idea perfectly. I have this tucked into my dresser mirror, and I chuckle even now about it because it's so true!
In case you can't read it, the mom's saying "Today I managed to comb half my hair and make a whole tray of ice cubes."